Shadow
10-02-2009, 04:56 AM
Here's a poem that I just wrote, titled "The Frozen Moon". Please give me your opinion about it, concerning use of language, structure, effect, etc.
Any comments/suggestions are happily accepted, as long as you have a point in them.
The Frozen Moon
In a night a-full moon,
When there wasn’t any tune,
Where the frosty chilly air
Eroded everything that’s strewn.
The luminous stars all so lit,
Flaring the glacial noon;
But all and about the sky so knit
By the action of the arctic moon.
Soothingly it looks upon the ground,
Emitting all the grace;
The freezing white light, with all its might
Showing its sparkling embrace.
Frostfully charming, the moon shines away,
Swaying its light, all through the way,
The flakes of snow seemingly crooned,
As if clinging on to the moon.
Any comments/suggestions are happily accepted, as long as you have a point in them.
The Frozen Moon
In a night a-full moon,
When there wasn’t any tune,
Where the frosty chilly air
Eroded everything that’s strewn.
The luminous stars all so lit,
Flaring the glacial noon;
But all and about the sky so knit
By the action of the arctic moon.
Soothingly it looks upon the ground,
Emitting all the grace;
The freezing white light, with all its might
Showing its sparkling embrace.
Frostfully charming, the moon shines away,
Swaying its light, all through the way,
The flakes of snow seemingly crooned,
As if clinging on to the moon.