The Curse of Fatal Death

[Kaboom]

This is a new episode of Dr. Who that I've made up entirely. Just for fun.

Part 1
The Master laughed evilly. On his monitor, the Doctor's TARDIS was flying through the Time Vortex. The view changed to one inside the TARDIS. The Doctor's back was turned.
"You are doomed, Doctor! Doomed! You are piloting your TARDIS into a deadly trap. And even you would not suspect, until it's far too late. Nyahahahahahaha!"
He twiddled a few dials, and was suddenly startled by the Doctor's voice on the loudspeakers.
"You know, if you're going to spy on me, you really should turn the speaker off."
"Oh, my dear Doctor. After our many centuries of conflict, naturally I wished you to know that your certain death is now... certain! Nyahahaha!"

The Master pressed a button on his panel and the Doctor's image disappeared from the screen.
"But even you will never suspect that your destruction awaits you on planet Zaxcon IV!"

He moved around to the other side of his TARDIS's central column.
The Doctor's voice was heard. "You only turned the picture off, I'm afraid. I can still hear you."
"I know that. Of course I know that... Curse you!"
He made to turn off the communications system, but the Doctor spoke.
"I wanted to talk to you anyway. I have some news that even my arch-enemy needs to hear. Meet me on the planet Tercerus in two hours, relative time. And do try not to be late."
"Mock me while you may, Doctor. My revenge will be all the sweeter. And it will be... a deadly vengeance. And it will be the deadly vengeance of deadly... revenge! Nyahahahahahaha!"

Planet Tercerus was a desolate place, and at a certain place on it rose a curious structure. The rock was like an inverted pyramid, and on top was a right-way-up pyramid-like castle.
The Doctor's TARDIS materialized in this bulding with it's usual vwooming sound. The door opened and Rose stepped out, followed by the Doctor.
"Where are we, Doctor?" she asked.
"Planet Tercerus. Once home to the Tercerons. The most kindly and peace-loving race I've ever encountered. And yet the most shunned and abhorred species in all history."
"Why?" asked Rose, somewhat surprised.
"They could communicate only by precisely modulated gas emmissions."
"Oh, no! The planet of the bottom-burpers?"
The Doctor nodded.
"And what happened to them?"
"They discovered fire."
"Oh."

Suddenly two blobs of white energy surged from down the corridor, directly hitting the Doctor and Rose and pinning them against the wall. The energy dissipated but they couldn't move away.
The Master laughed evilly.
"No doubt because no one has set foot on this planet for a hundred years, you thought you had escaped my traps of death. But you forget, Doctor, I too have a TARDIS. When you told me to meet you at Castle Tercerus, I simply travelled back in time a hundred years. And I bribed the architect! Say hello to the Spikes of Doom!"
He activated a remote control, and the wall behind Rose and the Doctor turned, taking them into the other side.

The wall turned back to reveal the pair sat on a sofa.
"Say hello to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort. Naturally I anticipated your journey back in time, and so I travelled slightly further back, and bribed the architect first."
"Or so you think!" responded the Master. The Doctor's smug smile suddenly vanished. "Naturally I anticipated you travelling back in time, so I travelled back in time to an even further point. And I bribed the architect first."
He activated his remote again and a brick wall fell on the sofa.
"Hahahahahahahaha!"

The Doctor stepped out from behind the wall.
"Well naturally I anticipated your journey to an even earlier point-"
"Doctor, will you stop showing off?" interrupted Rose. "You've got something to tell the Master so just tell him."
"Very well. I reasonably calculated that I have saved every planet in the known universe a minimum of twenty-seven times. But you know, I have grown weary of all the evil in the cosmos. All the cruelty, all the suffering. All those endless gravel quarries. And so I have decided... to retire, settle down, and get married." He put his arm around Rose.
The Master was astonished. "What?!"
"Yes. Without even knowing I was looking, I have found a woman to love. A woman more fascinating than all my travels in time and space. A girl more exciting than an escape up a ventilation shaft. A lover more exciting than an army of cybernetic slugs."

He and Rose hugged. The Master was disgusted.
"Sadly, Doctor, I cannot wish you a long and happy marriage. Because the moment I am done with this nauseating conversation, I shall travel back in time once more, and buy the architect an expensive dinner, and suggest he puts a lever just here." He pulled said lever from the wall. "And a trap door, leading to the vast and disgusting sewers of Tercerus exactly there!" He indicated the point where the Doctor and Rose were standing.
Rose made to run off, but the Doctor stopped her and held her back.
"Prepare for five hundred miles of fear and faeces. Goodbye, forever, Mr and Mrs Doctor!"

He pulled the lever, gasped and fell down the trap door that had opened beneath him.
"Warrrrrrrrrgh!" SPLASH!

Rose and the Doctor ran over to the hole in the floor.
"Since you appear to have fallen down a sewer, you won't be able to have dinner with the architect. Although, in fact he has already eaten. Because I had dinner with him, and suggested he put the trap door right here."
He led Rose away from the hole and back in direction of the TARDIS.

The doors beside the ship opened, and a much older Master emerged from therein.
"Not so fast!" he said.
"How can he be here?" asked Rose. "He just fell down the sewer! And why is he so much older?"
The Master answered. "Because it's taken me three hundred and twelve years to climb out of those sewers!"
The Doctor went on. "And then naturally you found your TARDIS and travelled back in time to the present day. No doubt to wreak one of your terrible revenge things."
"Nyahahaha yes... but this time, I did not come alone!"

He snickered as a dozen Daleks entered the room.
"After three centuries of climbing through those sewers, only the Daleks would accompany me. Because only the Daleks have no noses."
"So, Doctor, we meet again!"
"Yes. How are things?"
"Except, Doctor, I am no longer merely a Time Lord. My body has been augmented by superior Dalek technology."
He pulled off his right glove, to reveal, not a hand, but one of the Dalek's plunger weapons.

"So what can you do with that, then?" asked Rose.
"What?" The Master looked at his plunger, then back at Rose.
"You don't know, do you?"
"I..."
"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"
"No! No," intervened the Master. "After three hundred and twelve years of climbing though the biggest and most disgusting sewers in the cosmos, after three centuries of wading through those vast, steaming lakes, climbing those huge, squelchy mountains... After a lifetime of only dung slugs for food, and the occasional company on those long, lowly lands... After all that, I'm going to kill the Doctor myself, with my own bare hands! Die, Doctor, die!"

He charged forward. The Doctor and Rose moved aside and the Master ran past them. Sadly, he was unable to stop before the trap door and consequently fell down again.
"Warrrrrrrrrgh!" SPLASH!
The Doctor looked at the Daleks.
"Don't worry, I believe he knows the way out."

The door opened again, and an even older Master entered the room.
He spat out filth.
"Six hundred and twenty-four years... in a sodding sewer!"
"This way!" said the Doctor, leading Rose away from the Daleks and the mad Master.
"This way!" said the Master to the Daleks.
"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"

The Doctor led Rose down a labyrinth of corridors. The Daleks were slower than them, and they tried to lose them.
The Master was furious. "After them, you fools! Get them!"
One of the Daleks bumped into him.
"Oof... Warrrrrrrrrgh!" SPLASH!

The oldest Master yet, walking with crutches, hobbled after the Daleks.
"Nine hundred and thirty-six years... in the sewer. Wait for me... Wait for me!"

The Doctor continued to lead Rose through the maze. Eventually she said: "The corridors are all the same!"
The Doctor found a door.
"We should be safe in here."
They opened the door and stopped.
"Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"
There were a hundred Daleks in that room, all of them pointing their exterminator cannons at the Doctor.

End of Part 1

[Kaboom]

Part 2
The story so far: The Doctor and Rose met the Master at Castle Tercerus, and through a series of events the Master aged 936 years due to spending that long climbing out of the sewers of Tercerus three times over, and the other two have stumbled upon a room stuffed full of Daleks...

The Doctor closed the door.
"I think I shall need to travel back in time later on."
"Most probably. But what for?"
"Well, I shall no doubt be needing a very powerful gun. And as this planet was deserted before the invention of powerful guns, the only way to get one is by bringing it from elsewhere. However, we appear to be lost in this castle with no chance of finding the TARDIS until it's too late. So, I shall travel back in time and leave a powerful gun, tied up in such a way that in three seconds from now it will fall from the ceiling straight into my hands..."

CLONK!
The powerful gun did indeed fall at the predicted time, but the Doctor had miscalculated and the gun fell on his head.
"Doctor!" shouted Rose.
There was no reply. The Doctor was unconscious, and the dozen Daleks that had been pursuing them earlier were catching up. They could have done a surprise attack, but instead they chose to shout "Exterminate!" as loud as they could.

"Well, somebody has to do this," said Rose. "So it looks like I will."
She picked up the gun, or rather tried to, because it was much heavier than she expected. She tried to lift it up but she couldn't.

She found the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and twiddled with the setting, trying different frequencies as she desperately attempted to make the gun lighter. She eventually succeeded, and picked it up effortlessly just as the first Dalek rounded the corner.
"Stop!" she shouted.
"Why should we stop? We do not take orders!"
"If you make one move, I'll blast you to pieces with this gun!"
"No weapon can defeat us. At most, you can incapacitate us, but we will exterminate you before that!"
"I'm warning you. Go back right now or I'll shoot!"
"Then fire. You will see how futile your attack is."

Rose pulled the trigger, and the gun fell to pieces.
"So much for that. Doctor!"
He woke up at that moment.
"Whoa, slight miscalculation there. Hello, Daleks. Nice meeting you here." He fiddled with his pockets as he walked calmly towards the Daleks. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a moment, just normally. Without trying to blast each other to death, I was wondering if you happened to know that this place is full of microscopic particles which, when agitated, explode rather violently? Then again, if you believe that, then you wouldn't be as stupid as you looked. Where's my screwdriver?"
"It's here, Doctor."
"Oh yes. Throw it here, would you? Thanks. So anyway, I just want you to know, and this is honest, not at all biased, that you lot are just a bunch of overgrown pepperpots with guns."
He activated the sonic screwdriver and the Daleks shut down.

Rose asked, "Why didn't you do that with the Daleks in that room?"
"Two reasons. First, it only works if the Dalek's attention is diverted, which is what all the useless chatter was for, by the way. Second, I'd forgotten the frequency for it, but remembered it when I got hit. Where's the gun?"
"Umm.. it fell apart when I pulled the trigger."
"You what? What did you do to it?"
"Nothing. Well, I used the screwdriver to make it lighter..."
"And you totally wrecked it in the process. And I can't get another one because that would involve double-crossing my own timeline and bringing the universe to a premature end."
"Hang on, you've taken me to the future. It's there. So how could you destroy the universe if it's there in the future?"
"Same as how half my ventures change the future in some way. Time is a complicated thing, and if I were you I'd step away from that wall."

Just in time, Rose moved away as the floor began to collapse into the Tercerus sewers.
"This way!" said the Doctor. They ran as more and more of the floor caved in.
They suddenly stopped as the Master (the first one, not the really old one) stepped out in front of them.

"Nyahahahaha! You thought you had escaped me! But, in fact, that was just a simple clone. I anticipated your journey to dine with the architect, and so I decided it would be better to create a clone and orchestrate that whole business back there. And now, Doctor, you are to face me with no chance of escape. There is nowhere you can flee except the sewer. And, what's more, I have more Daleks, right here!"
"We were brought here by the Master so that we may exterminate the Doctor. The Master will be respected by all Daleks for all time. The Master will be our master! Exterminate Exterminate!"
"And this time, Doctor, you will die!"
"Let us exterminate them!"
"Well what are you waiting for? Blast them already!"

Each Dalek fired its beam at the Doctor, but they all stopped short.
"Is that it? Once again, pathetic."
"But..." said Rose. "What just happened? Why didn't those rays hit?"
"Simply because I anticipated the Master's reappearence, and led us to directly beneath the TARDIS. We are quite safe within the force field."
"But naturally, I anticipated your force field, and so I brought along my force-field penetrating apple!"
He pulled a red apple from his pocket.
"As soon as I throw this, your force field will close down, leaving you open to Dalek fire! Nyahahahahaha!"
He threw it, but it fell to the floor with no effect.
"But naturally I anticipated your force-field pentrating apple-"
"Doctor, don't start that again," interrupted Rose.
"But, darling, I'm getting to the good bit. You see, I sabotaged your apple, and I made it into a magnetic bomb, which will latch on to one of the Daleks and blow up, sending the lot of you back down the sewer."
The apple did exactly as the Doctor said.
"Warrrrrrrrrgh!" SPLASH!

Of course, blowing up the floor in front of Rose and the Doctor, combined with the floor having fallen down behind them, coupled with the fact that there were no bifurcations nearby, meant that they were stranded on an island, with a hundred foot drop to the sewers (not to mention the angry Master and Daleks) on all sides.

"Oops," said the Doctor.

End of Part 2